…the title of this post may be completely misleading.
Inspired by Kaz’s awesome post on zir gender/sexuality, I set out to draw my own map of what my asexuality “looks” like.
Except it kind of turned into not a map at all, but this:
Sorry for the terrible quality; I don’t have a scanner and took this in photobooth.
[image: a line drawing of a ship with two masts and lots of sails. The ship has lots of portholes, five hatches for cannons, and a lantern hanging over the stern window. Four colorful pennants fly from the mast, labeled “Intellectual Attraction,” “Kinetic Attraction,” “Physical Attraction,” and “Aesthetic Attraction.” A stick figure striking a heroic pose stands in the prow of the ship. The ship itself is labeled “Asexual!” On the horizon to the right are the silhouettes of several ships, all flying their own pennants, collectively labeled “Folks to wave at.” In the background to the left are three more ships and one rowboat sailing in the same direction as the main ship, collectively labeled “Folks who are sailing with me right now.” Over the whole scene is a large yellow sun labeled “Awesome.” End description.]
So! This is not meant to be a universally applicable model of sexual orientation, but rather how I conceptualize my own. The ship is labeled “Asexual” both because that’s my sexual orientation and because “asexual” is the tool I use to interact with the world. Most of my self-exploration and introspection is done using the lens of my asexuality, so it made sense for that to be the name of my main vessel. This emphasis on exploration rather than locating myself in a particular framework is also why I chose a ship rather than a map.
The pennants are the finer tools I use to explore my own sexuality and relationships with others. I drew the four main types of attraction I experience because they were what I could remember at 10 pm, but the point of pennants is that you can add more as they become important or take away those that are irrelevant. I don’t think I was ever issued a “romantic attraction” pennant; it’s certainly not listed in the ship’s manifest.
My ship has cannons because if you attack my identity I will fuck you up, but it also has a light because I’m friendly and want to talk to respectful people.
On the horizon are other people in their ships. I bet they’re really nice people, but we just don’t have a lot in common or aren’t looking for the same things right now. They have their own ships and their own pennants and that’s fantastic, so we’ll wave at each other as we pass, but we’re just not going in the same direction.
Closer to me are people I have more in common with. Maybe we’ve been sailing together for a long time, maybe we’re just coincidentally going in the same direction, or maybe we just met and really like hanging out, but all of these people are a little more like me in terms of goals and outlooks and identities. We probably fly some of the same pennants. We’ll sail together for a while, or for the rest of our lives, or just until tomorrow, and all of those options are rad.
Of course, some people don’t have boats. Or they have found an island they really like, and live there, and only take their boat out occassionally if at all. Maybe they live in a houseboat, or just swim whereever they want to go. One of my friends declared that she would probably ride a sea monster. All of this is totally awesome.
So, yeah. Thus: my sexual orientation. It’s mostly a boat.
![[Image description: Katie McGrath as genderbent Loki. End image description.]
SOMEONE MAKE THIS A THING IMMEDIATELY.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8eipwY1rL1rwxsgbo1_r1_500.png)
